POWER OF GIVE-UP

Thanks to Rashmi for sharing this wonderful and very powerful piece of read.

A nice article on how powerful it can be when we decide to GIVE-UP. It will make our life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering - and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy - we cling on to them. What could possibly happen when start we giving-up? Read on.

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

There are so many of us who can't stand the idea of being wrong - wanting to always be right - even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It's just not worth it. Whenever you feel the 'urgent' need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: "Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?" Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you - situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street - just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel. "By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. The world is beyond winning." Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don't believe everything that your mind is telling you - especially if it's negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive." Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

About what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck with the wrong thinking. Spread your wings and fly!

"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind" Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things - people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It's not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you're not just to make others like you. It doesn't work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you're not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change - don't resist it.

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls" Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don't understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. "The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist - you created it. It's all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they're fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses - excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It's hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for - the past that you are now dreaming about - was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it's not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn't mean you give up your love for them - because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless, where there is love there can't be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people's expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life - this one right now - you must live it, own it, and especially don't let other people's opinions distract you from your path.

Give-up. Give-up to realize how easily it will lead to a stress-free, happy, contented and peaceful life.

Black Sea Story

Power of NOW

Thanks to my buddy Sathish JM for sharing this wonderful article.

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All fear is, in essence, fear of the future. We are afraid of the things that have not yet happened, but which if they did might bring us pain, suffering or some other discomfort - or stand in the way of our future contentment. And we are afraid that circumstances that are already causing us displeasure may continue in the future. Or that what occurred in the past may occur again.

We may fear losing our jobs and the resulting drop in living standards. We may fear failure for the disapproval it might bring. We fear the unknown for the dangers it may bring. We fear uncertainty, not knowing whether or not we will find what we are after. Here lies a sad irony. We want to be happy and at peace with ourselves. Yet the very nature of fear makes us anxious in the present and not at peace.

Many of our fears are not so strong that we would label them as fears. They may be just concerns, little niggles we have about how things may turn out. They may not even be conscious concerns - in many cases they surface only in our dreams, in conversation with a friend, or being-idle moments. Nevertheless they fill our minds with thoughts.

This is the voice within our heads that comments, often critically, on everything we do. It thinks, "I did that well, people will approve of me", or "If only I had said it differently she would not have got upset". It is the voice that speculates on the future, "Should I make that telephone call? What if?" It wonders what other people are thinking and how they will react. It is the voice of fear, the voice of the ego-mind - the part of us that believes that only through what happens to us in the world around can we be at peace within. But filling our minds with worry over what people might or might not think is not the most constructive use we can make of our imagination.

This internal dialogue keeps us trapped in time - it dwells on the past or the future. As long as our attention is in the past or future, we are not experiencing things as they are, we are seeing them through the judgments of the past and our fears for the future. At times we can be so caught up in our self-talk that we do not even notice the present. We ignore what is going on around us, do not really hear what people are saying, do not appreciate how we really feel. So engrossed are we in our concerns that we never seem to pause to let things be. We have lost the present moment - lost the NOW.

This moment is all that exists. This fleeting instant is the only reality. The past is gone forever. The future is not yet born.

Your body is in the NOW. But if you're like most people, your mind is in the past or in the future. You grieve or glory over events of long ago. You harbor resentments and guilt and shame - hangovers from the past. You think of what you should have said or might have been. You fear and fantasize over the future, you worry about every moment of wasted time. You worry about death, not having enough time to achieve your ambitions, the end of your ego. All of which cuts you off from the present like a dark screen.

If you bring the mind from miles away to the activity of the moment, if you abate the clatter in your head to focus on the physical reality surrounding your body, and the sensations from within it, you'll gradually experience a surprising sense of well-being. Indeed, tuning in to the NOW is one gateway to perceiving eternity. The philosopher Wittgenstein observed: "If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, the eternal life belongs to those who live in the present". By experiencing a moment for itself, you stop time. Time is defined as the interval between two events. When you are in the NOW there is no interval, only the event alone.

As the saying goes, bright and prosperous future can only be built not by thinking about past, but by living the NOW moments the way the envisioned future has to be.

That is the power of NOW. Start living powerful life by taking control of these NOW moments.

LIVING THE REAL YOU

LIVING THE REAL YOU

[As read in Robin's blog]

1. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU! The #1 reason you may not be where you want to be in your career and personal life is who you currently are vs the external conditions you might be blaming. It’s stunning how our limiting beliefs and core fears sabotage us and keep us small. And here’s the thing: because most of them are subconscious, we can’t even see the mess they are creating for us.

The key here is to clean up the self-deception in your life. And take a good hard look at why you are where you are. Is the truth that you’re scared of failure or rejection or the unknown or success? The more aware you become of how you’re the one standing in your own way, the more you’ll move into choice. And have the power to make the new choices that drive new results.

2. YOUR NET WORTH NEVER EXCEEDS YOUR SELF WORTH. We get from life not all we want, but who we are. To have more, we must become more. The more you can learn, grow and provoke the highest display of your potential on a daily basis, the more all you want will begin to show up.

3. FOCUS IS MORE VALUABLE THAN INTELLIGENCE. You’re smart enough to master your life – and play in the big leagues of success. Here’s another thing that may be holding you back: you’re really busy being busy. But what’s the point of being uber-productive doing useless things?

Two quick ways: turn off your technology for a few hours each day and do Real Work. And second, make your Stop Doing List more important than your To Do List.

4. DISRUPT OR BE DISRUPTED. OK, so here’s the reality: the next 20 years will be nothing like the last 20 years. You and your team and your organization can “wait for the up cycle to return”. But I think you’ll be waiting a long time. I don’t think we’re in a down cycle. I think the way the global economy+society currently is, is the new reality. And if you agree with me, there’s only one choice for any one of us: innovate – or become obsolete.

So, to win in 2012, out-think who you were and outlearn what you learned and outwork the way you worked. Read constantly. Iterate daily. And ferociously improve every part of the way you think, work and live.

5. SHATTER YOUR STANDARDS. It’s stunning how many people – built to play at wow with their lives – accept mediocrity in their health, finances, work, relationships and mindset (the problem with letting a little mediocrity into your orbit is more starts to creep in until eventually it becomes your new normal).

Right now, I challenge you with my usual respect and affection, to raise your standards. Don’t tolerate any form of average. Don’t accept Dis-excellence. Don’t stand for mediocre. If you’re going to settle, then please settle for the absolute best.

6. HAVE SOME FUN. Life’s a short ride when you really think about it. Yes, do your dreams while you change the world. But do it with a smile. And a festive heart. Make time for life’s simple pleasures Savor life’s gifts. Embrace all that’s good in your life.

Right to Forgive

As read in one of Harvey's article:

Clara Barton was an American nurse who founded the American Red Cross in 1881 and was its president until 1904. A remarkable woman, she made it a rule never to hold resentment against anyone.

Once a friend reminded her of a cruel thing that had been done to Barton some years previously, but Clara seemed not to remember the incident.
"Don't you remember the wrong that was done to you?" the friend asked.
"No," Clara answered calmly. "I distinctly remember forgetting that."

You will never get ahead of anyone as long as you are trying to get even with them. Even if you do get even with someone, you have put yourself on their level.

The daughter of a friend of mine gave me some advice a few months ago on how to handle forgiveness. She suggested making a list of the grudges, anger and pain that weigh you down. Commit to releasing it once and for all. Take three deep breaths and ask for peace. Then burn the list. And smile. You've just lightened your load.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind."

Forgiveness is the key to healing all relationships and leads to happiness. You'll be grateful for the experience of forgiving someone. It ultimately makes you stronger.

I don't think a single person can escape life without experiencing hurt by another person. Everyone, and I mean everyone, messes up, hurts others, finds fault, misjudges and acts emotionally and improperly from time to time at the expense of others.

What is the best course of action? How can you get past the anger and the bad feelings? Only one way that I know of—forgiveness. Forgive the people who kept their jobs when you lost yours. Forgive yourself for being in whatever position you find yourself. Accept that some things are just not in your control. And then, except for the lessons you learned, forget it.

Carrying grudges can be a heavy load. Just the thought of past pains pulls your energy down. Forgiveness is how you free yourself. You release your anger. You move forward. And you lighten up.

Forgiving what's happened in the past allows you to focus on the future, which is the only place you have to go.

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude," said Martin Luther King Jr.

"Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship."

It is far better to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.

Every time you forgive you feel more empowered and powerful.

Circle of Influence

Tale of two fields

As read in Robin’s blog

Once, there was a pristine green field that was alive and lush, amidst the extraordinary bloom of Springtime. Next to it happened to sit another field. This one full of weeds, dirt and rough edged stones. A testament to mediocrity. And an acute lack of care.

Through the operation of Nature's laws, the seeds of the weeds from the mediocre field were slowly blown over to the lush field. And so, day by day, the once stunningly beautiful one - with once awesome potential - succumbed to the influence of it's low-grade next door neighbor.

Before the season was through, there sat two fields. Both completely overcome by weeds.

The leadership lesson for you and I (in this world that aches for real leaders): your influences and environments matter.

The people you associate with will infect your thinking.

The content of what you read/watch/listen to will affect your game.

And the things you surround yourself with will determine whether you work at wow. Or end up at a field called mediocre.

Its important to be in a positive influence for us and be that positive influence for others

That Busy Perception

THAT BUSY PERCEPTION

In Washington DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a Stradivarius violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the DC Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment is this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Very powerful question this one is...the answer to which can bring in attitudes within us that could make our life lot more meaningful and enjoyable.

Next time when we get under that busy tag comfortably and avoid spending time with loved ones, enjoying those little miracles in our lives, pause at that moment with this powerful question.